Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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