Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
