This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
