You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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