Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
