Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
