How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
