i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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