moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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