hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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