We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
