Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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