every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
