I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
