butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
