And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
