does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
