Don't you send me to vm
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
