whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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