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I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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