so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
