Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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