So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize