the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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