Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
