I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
