Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
