There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
