i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
