i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
