But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
