In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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