I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
