lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
