Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
