i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
one might say we're banned from that church
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
