You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize