when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize