Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My penis needs a shock collar
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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