..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
