He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
