Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize