i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Randomize
