piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize