Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize