Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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