Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
