You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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