Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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