just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
