if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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