Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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