Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
