you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
