i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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