He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
