it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Randomize
