ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
