She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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