literally had 100 drinks last night.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
