It's like God shit irony all over that family
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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